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As I drew closer to God and allowed Him to show me things about myself that needed attention and change, I learned a few important things about marriage, one of which came through an inspiring message from pastor and author Paul Washer. In my suffering, God pursued me and carried me to a safe place, an intimate place with Him. He taught me who He is, while revealing the intricate details of His design for marriage. Regardless of my rebellion and apparent dissatisfaction, God met me where I was. I thought I had always known Him, yet I struggled in my faith, avoiding Him in anger and feeling miserably stuck in my relationship with Him. In those trying times of conflict and contention, apathy and agony over the desire to separate from my husband, I met God, or perhaps I should say He met me. Humiliated, I doubted God’s purpose for my marriage, and I isolated myself from God and from my husband. I was disturbed to find out that I fell below par, an image of myself I refused to accept for a long time.īecause we struggled during times of sexual intimacy, I felt inadequate as a woman, as if I were in some way broken. I desperately wanted to blame anyone else-mostly my husband-for the problems we faced, in denial that I could be a contributing factor.
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In addition to that struggle, the friction of learning how to be one with each other brought other challenges to the surface.
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The greatest trial that overshadowed my husband and me in our first four years of marriage was a sexual problem. I harbored a growing anger toward God for not giving me the marriage I had always dreamed of, believing I was entitled to a perfect life because I did all the right things for Him. My husband quickly became a source of disappointment, often failing to fulfill me as I thought he should.
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Marriage was not meeting my needs as I thought it would when I yearned to be a wife. The first few years of our marriage were devastating, and my heart broke over the mess we were living in.
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The ebb and flow of life makes for an interesting journey, one that has been full of sorrow and joy, with everything in between, for my husband and me.
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Discover through Jennifer’s story how God can bring you through it all to a place of transformation. If you are feeling disappointment or even despair about your marriage, the heart-cry of this book is: You are not alone. How did Jennifer and her husband survive the painful times? What did they do when they were tempted to call it quits? How did God miraculously step in during the darkest hour to rescue and redeem them, tearing down the veil once and for all? The Unveiled Wife is a real-life love story one couple’s refreshingly raw, transparent journey touching the deep places in a marriage that only God can reach. Trapped by fear and insecurity, and feeling totally alone, Jennifer cried out to God: What am I doing wrong? Why is this happening to us? It was as if a veil had descended between her and her husband, and between her and God-one that kept her from experiencing the fullness of love. Instead, they were marked by disappointment and pain. But the first years of marriage were nothing like she’d imagined. She dreamed of closeness, of being fully known and loved by her husband. As a young bride, Jennifer Smith couldn’t wait to build her life with the man she adored.